When it comes to dating game it’s very easy to overlook the basics and building blocks. With so much information and different philosophies of game being thrown out daily, when basic thoughts and building blocks are skipped and overlooked you maybe stuck at a certain level or continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. So before you run out and buy a new wardrobe filled with clothes, before you hit the gym to pack on the muscle and tone up, before you get ready to have wild nights of mind blowing sex with twins, before you dive into all that evo psych research proving that girls with one boob slightly bigger than the other are more masculine and therefore will let you butt fuck them on the first night. Let’s slow down tiger and have an emotional gut check first.
One thing that we don’t talk about is how ones own personal emotions and needs come into the picture while learning game. It’s an easy subject to skip as we are men and have some issues speaking about our personal emotions to other guys (aka that shits gay). Often times we overlook the main driving force internally that’s driving us in game and specifically driving us to do what we do. It’s easier to simplify and generalize male/female dynamics and then follow the best script that plays to these generalizations. But there’s a wall everyman will hit at some point.
Now, I’m not asking you to enter into psychoanalysis or therapy to talk about being breast fed till you were seven, cause that shit is mad expensive. Instead at the beginning ask yourself a few simple questions to find out why you’re learning game and what you wish to get out of it. Yes, at the surface it seems like a no brainer that you want more/ better sex than you’re currently getting but is there anything that goes along with that? It’s surprising but from what I’ve heard new guys learning game have other reasons besides sex.
Some guys are older, recovering from a divorce or LTR and need a way back into the dating market. Other guys have no problem getting dates or a numbers here and there but are having trouble getting girls to commit longer than that. Most guys have confidence issues or are betas and can’t pick up girls or approach whatsoever. The point is before you start this journey figure out why.
At times you’ll keep running into the same game problem and will be tempted to lay blame on the opposite sex or the situation instead of confronting your own emotions. For example there was a time a few years ago where on certain first dates I’d get too drunk while on other first dates I’d do just fine and catch the right buzz needed to make things go smoothly. After blowing some major dates that could have ended in a bang I had to seriously ask myself why I was blowing it on certain dates.
After mentally reviewing the dates I dropped the ball on I came up with a few realizations. First the dates I got the most drunk on where the ones where the girls where a lot hotter 8s,9s than other dates I’ve been on. I’d use alcohol as a crutch instead of proceeding with my normal game. Second and a very common date drinking mistake I was making is when it was obvious the sex was in the bag. This may seem counterintuitive but the closer I got to the bang at the end of the night or the higher the chances were I’d drink more. Again this was due to nervousness and first time performance with someone new.
The reason I bring up exploring your own emotions, fears and insecurities when learning game is so that you can be aware of what they are and the fact that you have them instead of ignoring them. When you break it down to the simplest level all game is connecting with another girl on an emotional level even if it’s for a brief period of time of one night. Once you establish that connection what you do after that is up to you. If you want to bang and run, go on a few dates, be in a relationship whatever you want. But knowing your own emotions, fears and insecurities makes it easier to spot the same emotions in the girls you talk to. This may be one of the hardest things to learn about game but once you do you’ll be surprised how much fast you can connect on a pick up or first date and exact correlation with the shortening of time it takes for women to sleep with you. I mean it’s like they feel like they’ve known you for so long!